Thanks! I wasn’t sure about the animation but I think it’s effective so far. The aliens are tough customers, but they are defending their home world after all!
Tiny bit of constructive criticism: the quality of visual cues with speech bubbles is a little low.
In this page, it looks like Friday is saying “we’re here to kill people”; typically the fact that someone else is saying something over the radio is indicated by a lightning-bolt bubble tail or a tailless bubble with a little zigzag in its outline on the top and bottom.
On pages 1 and 3, Friday’s offscreen dialogue is in captions, and it’s initially unclear that someone is saying the stuff out loud. I think the best clarity would be achieved if her dialogue is in quotes in a caption when she is not in-scene (pg 1 panel 1 and pg 3) and in a bubble with a tail pointing off-panel when she is in-scene but off-camera.
That aside, everything else looks freakin *great*, and I am mega pumped for stuff to happen!
Thanks so much for your feedback! Sorry it took me a little bit to get back to you, I definitely don’t want to discourage concrit from my pages!
You can kinda tell I’m used to lettering in Illustrator, huh? MangaStudio’s lettering tools are easy to use and intuitive, but a little limiting and frustrating. So, thanks for this criticism because the lettering is what I’m the most shaky about right now. Although, “We’re here to kill people” is Friday’s line, the idea being that she puts it together in this panel from the info Roadrunner and Ghost are feeding her, just as she’s approached for the first time by Raze.
Since I’m not really using captions, and Friday is more or less the narrative voice here, I thought using captions for her off-screen dialogue would make sense, but I definitely see now how it could be confusing, so using quotes in the caption is a great idea. I like the visual cue of the lightning-bolt balloon tail, but at this point I don’t think I have any dialogue coming from radios in any panels. I’ll keep this in mind moving forward. I’m also considering using tinted balloons to indicate character dialogue — Tom Sidell does this a lot in Gunnerkrigg Court with Kat and Annie’s balloons. The effect is so subtle you barely notice it but it really helps clear up who is speaking. However, I’m nervous about doing that because I’m using the colored, more organically shaped balloons to indicate thought (or, more accurately, what Raze and characters like him can “hear” with their telepathy), and carrying that theme over to my netrunner characters’ dialogue balloons since their consciousness kind of exists in this place between abstract thoughtspace and reality.
Sorry for rambling, this is something I’m thinking about a lot so I’ll def keep your notes in mind while I work on tightening up my lettering for future pages. Thanks for reading!
Totally digging the camoflauge effect. Also totally concerned for everyone’s continued existence. Those aliens look like no joke.
Thanks! I wasn’t sure about the animation but I think it’s effective so far. The aliens are tough customers, but they are defending their home world after all!
Tiny bit of constructive criticism: the quality of visual cues with speech bubbles is a little low.
In this page, it looks like Friday is saying “we’re here to kill people”; typically the fact that someone else is saying something over the radio is indicated by a lightning-bolt bubble tail or a tailless bubble with a little zigzag in its outline on the top and bottom.
On pages 1 and 3, Friday’s offscreen dialogue is in captions, and it’s initially unclear that someone is saying the stuff out loud. I think the best clarity would be achieved if her dialogue is in quotes in a caption when she is not in-scene (pg 1 panel 1 and pg 3) and in a bubble with a tail pointing off-panel when she is in-scene but off-camera.
That aside, everything else looks freakin *great*, and I am mega pumped for stuff to happen!
Thanks so much for your feedback! Sorry it took me a little bit to get back to you, I definitely don’t want to discourage concrit from my pages!
You can kinda tell I’m used to lettering in Illustrator, huh? MangaStudio’s lettering tools are easy to use and intuitive, but a little limiting and frustrating. So, thanks for this criticism because the lettering is what I’m the most shaky about right now. Although, “We’re here to kill people” is Friday’s line, the idea being that she puts it together in this panel from the info Roadrunner and Ghost are feeding her, just as she’s approached for the first time by Raze.
Since I’m not really using captions, and Friday is more or less the narrative voice here, I thought using captions for her off-screen dialogue would make sense, but I definitely see now how it could be confusing, so using quotes in the caption is a great idea. I like the visual cue of the lightning-bolt balloon tail, but at this point I don’t think I have any dialogue coming from radios in any panels. I’ll keep this in mind moving forward. I’m also considering using tinted balloons to indicate character dialogue — Tom Sidell does this a lot in Gunnerkrigg Court with Kat and Annie’s balloons. The effect is so subtle you barely notice it but it really helps clear up who is speaking. However, I’m nervous about doing that because I’m using the colored, more organically shaped balloons to indicate thought (or, more accurately, what Raze and characters like him can “hear” with their telepathy), and carrying that theme over to my netrunner characters’ dialogue balloons since their consciousness kind of exists in this place between abstract thoughtspace and reality.
Sorry for rambling, this is something I’m thinking about a lot so I’ll def keep your notes in mind while I work on tightening up my lettering for future pages. Thanks for reading!